No bro, I Love You!

Yo bro! Bromances have become an object of great attention and to some extent ridicule within the media. Movies like ‘I love you man’ show the humor in men trying to find friendship, but they also show how there is a heteronormative discourse is still prevalent in our society. Becker’s article addressing the current bromance phenomenon I think points out many critical issues that still underlie men’s' sexuality and stereotypes in media texts. The article focuses a lot of analysis on the show ‘Bromance’ where Brody Jenner has a competition to find his next best friend or ‘bro.’ The main thing I found to be very interesting about the article was that bromances are used as a way to allow men to express emotions while maintaining their heterosexuality. Yet, there is still a need for theses ‘bros’ to reinforce the fact that they are not gay, but at the same time okay with gay individuals. When a contestant on ‘Bromance’ decided to leave the show, because he felt like he didn’t quite fit in. He was openly gay and many of the challenges required picking up ‘chicks’ and he lived in a house that had women’s’ panties displayed on the walls. When he left many of the straight guys went to say how great of a guy he was, just that he didn’t fit in, and that they had nothing against gay men. They acknowledge that they are not against gay people, but that this individual didn’t fit in with their group of straight men trying to get friendship. I think having bromances makes appropriate behaviors for men much more complicated. They are told it’s okay to show emotion, but when seen together people automatically think that they are gay. I don’t think bromances are liberating because of the constant reaffirmations that the ‘bros’ on Bromance made, along with other examples Becker identifies. They are straight, but can get teary-eyed during their bro-elimination ceremony. I think bromances just make identifying what behavior is socially appropriate for men even more confusing for men. They now have to explain their actions and friendships when they hang out with other men.

Ahh, the Bromance

I had a real problem with a lot of the examples that were brought up in this article, but I’ll try to keep myself from ranting. To begin with, however, I would like to ask a simple question: why is it that as soon as intimate male bonds are depicted on television a name must be assigned to this concept in order to draw a distinction between friendship and homosexuality? As far as I know, no term has been coined regarding close female bonds – we don’t feel the need to announce to the world that WE ARE NOT LESBIANS. Why is this cultural phenomenon of “bromance” so easily condoned by the media and by society in general?

Our writer begins by stating that homosexuality has increasingly become more acceptable by society over the past couple decades…so why is there such a need to clarify this difference? The real problem to me is that, it seems, men believe that by showing emotion, care, and consideration for one another they are emasculating themselves. Close male bonds have always existed: why is it then that so recently men need an “excuse” to behave a certain way? Why is it that now they fear being mistaken as gay? A logical explanation I suppose would be that gay characters have received greater roles recently, or that acceptance of homosexuality IS in fact more common and thus men are fearful of being “seduced” into this lifestyle, as this is one of the criticisms of homosexuality that consistently comes up. To me, it’s just ridiculous that this term even exists. Men can just be friends – they don’t need to be “cool” by defining their friendships as “bromances.”

As for the reality TV show Bromance that acted as the central example in this essay, please give me a break and PLEASE tell me that nobody actually watched the show. This just seems like a pathetic excuse for a celebrity male to gain attention, to promote advertisements, and to perpetuate the stereotypes that are a result of heteronormativity. Congratulations – you had a gay contestant…you didn’t kick him off the show. Nonetheless, the contests that were conducted are not only misogynistic but they are also reinforcing the dominant discourse of the heterosexual male.

Sorry, but I couldn’t really help from ranting.